I’m a naturally timid person; I have fear of almost everything. I have always felt insecure and that insecurity led to a lot of built-up anger, which put me in a foul mood most of the time. Appearances can be deceptive because you can always cover it with makeup; however our moods can never deceive anyone because it arises from how our minds operate and manifest in our expressions. Hence, I always gave people the impression that I’m always angry, unsatisfied and unhappy. Yes, I was a very negative person.
Not knowing of any method to better myself, I remained that way until I first met H.E. Tsem Rinpoche during an unofficial event in Kechara. That day, I had the great honour to receive some Dharma teachings and personal advice that literally changed my life. During that period, I was in the midst of “searching for myself”. I had quit my job in Singapore and returned to Malaysia for a holiday, and at the same time I was looking for new opportunities.
Rinpoche knew right away about my issues, and gave me a long Dharma talk on how to deal with my problems. I was also advised to do Protector prayers, serkym offerings and mantra recitations on a daily basis. Rinpoche did not speak much about the reason he gave me this practice but he said it would bear fruitful results if I was persistent in it. In hindsight, I guess there wasn’t much that Rinpoche could say about practices at that time as I was in my early 20s and quite skeptical about Buddhism and anything to do with spirituality or mysticism. However, I had nothing to lose and chose to follow Rinpoche’s instructions, hoping it could help me secure a promising job in Malaysia’s fashion industry and settle down.
Ever since I began my daily Protector practice, things started to change for me. My mind became calmer and my anger issues started decreasing. As a result, I became more forgiving, tolerant and could let go of things more easily. My mind has also become sharper and my memory has improved. This is how powerful Dorje Shugden is as he is one with Manjushri, the Buddha of Wisdom.
In the past, I was prone to car accidents, perhaps due to karma or maybe just my lack of awareness. But ever since I connected with Dorje Shugden, I feel as though there is a guardian angel around me all the time, who protects me from all sorts of obstacles – from obstacles in my mind to physical obstacles such as car accidents. This kind of feeling is quite surreal because you know you’re under his protection, although the protection is formless yet is always there for you.
Obviously, my prayers of getting a fashion-related job did not come true. However, I got the best job in the world instead, which is Dharma work. To many, working for Dharma is totally out of the norm, but who cares? I must say I have learned a lot, far more than what I could learn from working for someone else or a large company in the secular world.
Being in a Dharma environment, I get to face the most difficult things in life which are my mind, my own mistakes, and my weaknesses. But through Rinpoche’s teachings and Dorje Shugden’s blessings, I have the opportunity to unlearn and relearn, to transform myself and become a better ‘me’, a new ‘me’, instead of the ‘me’ who has been suffering from self-created unhappiness. After all, happiness is what people are searching for their whole lives. Instead of following the normal path that 90% of the world’s population is on (yet they seem not to have found happiness), I decided to follow the one person who has showed me that happiness is attainable through internal transformation. And because Dorje Shugden’s practice helped me overcome the small problems I initially had when I got to know Dharma, I became more confident and now have bigger goals as a Buddhist practitioner, which is to internalise and practise the Dharma.
Dorje Shugden’s blessings have no limit. It has brought my family closer to Dharma and now my sister is with me working for Kechara as well. To me, the best thing I can give my family is Dharma. I’m extremely thankful to Tsem Rinpoche, who has been guiding me along the way directly, indirectly or even subtly during times of need. I also believe the blessings from Dorje Shugden depend on how much faith we have in our guru, because our Guru and Protector are inseparable.
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